Who cut the red wire?

So much for the "explosion of conversation."

Well, since nobody asked (and really, doesn't that define the blog experience?), here are my thoughts on the Philip Weiss piece in a recent issue of New York magazine, which suggests that men have a greater biological requirement for sexual variety than women and are thus more prone to infidelity:

The short version is, what a crock of shit. 

The longer, more explanatory version is the same cop-out argument that men have been trying to make for years, and Weiss doesn't present anything new. The only reason this idea's been trotted out again is that the Eliot Spitzer case has made it "timely." 

Now, I'm not opposed to the concept that male and female sexuality could be different in fundamental, biological ways. In fact, I'd bet the farm that it is - with all the obvious physical differences between the sexes, I think it's silly to expect that men and women are exactly the same when it comes to sex, even if it's politically expedient to believe that. 

What I don't buy is the idea that men cheat because they're compelled to by some primal force that women don't share. That MIGHT be true, but there's absolutely nothing in Weiss' piece, or anything else that I've read, that offers anything close to conclusive proof. For example, Weiss gives us a version of the "spread the seed" explanation for why men want multiple partners (while also, admittedly, paying a little lip service to possible biological imperatives that might lead women to cheat). 

But no biological argument that I've encountered better explains the disparity in infidelity between men and women better than simple economic history. In a patriarchal society where men have typically held the majority of economic power, men have always had an easier time mitigating the consequences of cheating. They've had the money to keep their affairs discreet. When they've been found out, their financial power over their spouses has allowed them to convince (blackmail?) those spouses into maintaining the partnership. And typically, men who get dumped by their wives or girlfriends have been better positioned, from a financial security standpoint, to land on their feet. 

Women, meanwhile, have not historically had the independent financial security to keep their cheating a secret and because of the financial imbalance have had more to fear from a break-up. Not to mention the fact that society largely pardons men who stray, while women guilty of the same offence are labeled sluts and whores.

Nature likely does play a role in the differences in sexuality between men and women, but there's just too much "nurture" evidence to convincingly make the case that biology is the reason that husbands stray more often than wives. Chris Rock once joked in an HBO special that "A man is as faithful as his options." As women get more and more options, I wouldn't be surprised if the cheating numbers start to even out.