Right Solution, Wrong Problem

It just occurred to me that George W. Bush is a genius. He has a knack for coming up with brilliant solutions in times of crisis. He just tends to pose the wrong solution for the wrong crisis.

For example, in the aftermath of 9/11, Bush calmly told Americans that everything was all right and that, in the name of patriotism, they should "keep shopping." In the aftermath of this year's financial meltdown, meanwhile, Bush proposed that the U.S. government do an end-run around capitalism in order to save capitalism, a process that required something akin to creative diplomacy.

These solutions might have worked to perfection, if applied to the opposite problem. Shopping hasn't brought an end to either the Afghanistan or Iraq wars, and while the U.S. hasn't been attacked on its own soil since 9/11, that can hardly be credited to citizens doing their patriotic duty at the malls. But a little creative diplomacy on top of all the military aggression might have made the whole "war on terror" more successful and would have kept the U.S. from squandering its reputation internationally.

However, the sliding economy is a crisis that actually could be minimized if people kept shopping. In particular, the super-rich - those people whose wealth far exceeds what they or their offspring could possibly spend in a lifetime - could use their recession-proof status to pump much-needed dollars into the economy in a time of need.

So to all the billionaires out there (who surely have this blog bookmarked), do your country proud and get that Jack Nicklaus-designed golf course installed in your backyard.

And to President Bush (whom I expect is also a regular reader), you're a genius. Almost.